|
The most striking feature
of the man was his mustache. Long and black and curled up at the
ends, it looked like it would be right at home under the nose of
a wild west villain. It completely overshadowed his mirrored shades
and stars and stripes themed do-rag.
Dressed in a black, ruffled
shirt and jeans, he was laughing heartily as he mugged for the camera.
“Alright, crew. We've got our prep-work done and a I've showed
you how to make your own chicken marsala at home. But you know that
here on Cooking with Awesome, we know our audience and you at home
didn't tune in to see us saute chicken on a plain old stove-top.
Oh no, we've got something special for my favorite dish.”
The camera pulled back
to show that he was standing in front of a sleet, modern fighter
plane. “Behold! The US-55 VTOL aerospace fighter.” He
started walking around the craft with the camera following. “This
baby is the fastest combat aircraft in the world and it carries
an armament of six Helios missiles, twin military grade plasma lances—you
remember those from our meatloaf episode—and...” His
circuit ended just under the nose, beneath which was mounted a sinister
looking piece of hardware.
“A 100mm DragonsBreath
photo-synthetic mass emitter, more commonly known as a military
laser. This big, beautiful gun fires a flare of boiling photons
at mach four. And that flare is so hot that it will bore through
forty feet on concrete with enough energy left to cook the bad guys
in their bunker.”
He gave the camera a
knowing grin. “So you know our chicken's gonna be well done.”
JC was staring
up at a large monitor playing the 'greatest hits' from the previous
season of Cooking with Awesome as Warrick and Tink came up beside
him. “I heard that they had a casting call for a season six
episode where they're going to have psionics come in and use their
powers to cook stuff.”
Warrick, his arm around
Tink, glanced around. There was no one else around his friend, but
as far as he could tell, they weren't close enough to see out of
the corner of his eye.
“Good peripherals.”
Tink commented JC.
“Thanks.”
His eyes hadn't left the screen, where Wallace Teal, in all his
moustachioed glory, was introducing the USAF officer who would explain
the basics of photosynthetic mass emitters to the audience. “I
saw your reflections in the screen.”
“Ooooh.”
Warrick nodded along with his own realization. “Well come
on, man. It's time for Deathgate.”
“Already?”
“Yeah. Dude, you
haven't been here the whole time, have you?” Warrick glanced
up at the screen.
“Maybe... but I
haven't seen the middle shows of last season! I've been out whenever
it's been on.”
“There's about
a thousand other things to do here and you spent two hours watching
television.” Tink teased.
“The man cooked
a souffle with a railgun, Tina.” JC said, completely in earnest.
“I'm just a mortal man.” Nevertheless, he started walking
with them.
“I never got that
show.” Tink shrugged. “He cooks food with explosions?”
“And lasers and
engines.” Warrick offered. “One time with reentry heat.”
“Riveting.”
She scoffed. “I love explosions, but I want them to happen
for a reason. Explosions for explosion's sake are just boring.”
“That's why he
cooks the food.” Said Warrick. “You know, it gives the
show a premise.”
“And,” JC
added, “It's educational. You learn to make the meal at home,
you learn how the tech he's cooking with works, sometimes there's
history... and as a reward for all that learning, you get to see
a cherry tart get baked by napalm. There's something for everybody!”
Tink laughed and shook
her head dismissively. Up ahead, she saw the giant advertising screens
that marked SID's area of the convention hall. Smiling at knowing
where her destination is, she cuddled herself up closer to Warrick.
Their height difference meant that he was essentially reaching up
to get his arm over her shoulder, so she maneuvered that arm to
her waist.
“So did your dad
do any voices for the new Deathgate content?”
“She's trying to
weasel out if Lord Gygaxus is coming back in this expansion.”
JC returned the earlier teasing.
Warrick shrugged, which
was more of a trick then he expected with Tink so close. “Sorry,
hon, but with the NDA's, he can't even tell me. I do know that he's
playing a lot of incidentals though; elves and trolls mostly.”
A few steps and it was
as if they'd stepped out of a fog of people. In the area around
SID's display area, the usual people-swarm was corralled into orderly
lines; one for swag, one to meet the artists, one to get job applications,
etc.
But the jewel of the
convention was behind plastic barriers set about waist high and
monitored by a half dozen large men and women with ear pieces and
indifferent expressions. Anyone not in the know would have thought
the president was inside one of the six, glossy black pods, arranged
in two groups of three with their backs to a central control stalk.
The six pods stood open,
revealing soft looking seats and an interior covered with hexagonal
panels. Everything inside was black.
“So, uh, JC; since
you were watching TV the whole time, did you actually manage to
sell Lisa's ticket?” Warrick asked. He stared quizzically
at the pods. There didn't seem to be any controls, or even a helmet
like he would expect in such a device.
JC nodded. “Yeah.
Short dude, skinny, glasses? Had a shirt on with some crazy looking
dude on it holding a huge sword with eyes on it? There was also
a scary orange cat-head critter.”
Tink snapped her fingers
when she recognized the reference. “Legendary Barbarian Warrior
Killpretty!”
“Sure, that.”
JC shrugged. “Let's go see who we're supposed to see to start
our preview.”
“I...
am looking at a tiny pirate, right?” Facsimile gave voice
to the bare minimal version of what was on everyone's minds.
Aside from Hope, who
was putting both of her powers to good use on the near hysterical
and mildly injured homeowner, the entire group had congregated around
the bin wherein stood the miniscule mariner.
“I ain't nae tiny,
ye be some kind o' horrible giants.” Captain Triplebeard complained.
“Jus' like tha other one tha bought me here.”
“Other one?”
Codex asked. “You mean not the woman you just stabbed?”
Laurel asked.
“Does anyone else
think this is just hilarious?” Facsimile asked.
“Are ye daft?”
Triplebeard exclaimed. “She a' least looked like a person.
Tha' thing, it looks like a lemon left soggy ta rot, green an' covered
wi' fuzz. Wi' great, pointed ears like horns, an' a nose like a
new tarred prow.”
“At least we know
what came thought now.” Chaos said, then looked to Codex.
“Right?”
She shook her head.
“You're not alone,
Fax.” Hope said over the central conversation. “I mean,
an itty, bitty pirate—what's not funny about that?”
“What's not—What's
not funny?” The irate woman jerked her newly heeled hand out
of the white garbed prelate's hands. “I'll tell you what's
not funny: I just got stabbed by a little... a...a creature! Something
unnatural. And I think it might have been poison!”
“Poison?”
Hope blinked.
“Yes! I feel tired
and hungry all of a sudden. I read somewhere that's a symptom of
rabies.”
“Rabies isn't a
poison...” Chaos started, but was cut off by more angry hysterics.
“And I'm seeing
things! It looked like the milk on that cereal box just moved!”
Ephemeral was closest
to the cardboard bin that had been toppled in the moments after
the pirate's appearance. There was indeed a cereal box there near
his foot; one of those cereals that wore their lack of child-friendliness
on their sleeve with a litany of age related diseases it was supposed
to help fight listed right on the front. The milk was moving. Not
only that, but the cereal was rippling gently up and down with the
force of the pour.
“I do not think
this is the result of your wound. I see it as well.” He said.
“What?” Facsimile
slipped past him and went down on her hands and knees to take a
closer look. “Huh. It is. Sure, but I've seen stuff like this
on game boxes; it's promotional.”
“And expensive.”
Occult noted, kneeling and picking up a box formerly home to Mother
McCray's home-style fish sticks. The cartoon representation of the
elderly mother McCray was stuck in a loop of setting a platter of
fishy treats on the table, picking it up again, and serving them
once more.
Between them, she and
Facsimile checked eight more labels before she was satisfied. “It's
all of them.” She stated. “Every picture is animated
now.” She noticed the broken computer lying in the street.
It's position among the foreign sugar cane suddenly had new significance.
“Whose is that?”
She asked the homeowner.
“It's mine, so
what?” Came the snippy reply. Not everyone could be grateful
for heroes.
“Do you have any
videos or games on there that have pirates in them?”
The woman sputtered.
“Games? I am a grown woman. A professional woman. What kind
of grown woman plays video games?”
Codex folded her arms.
“Sixty-four percent of American women have played at least
thirty hours of interactive entertainment in the past year.”
“Which is exactly
what's wrong with our—”
“I play video games.”
Codex observed.
The woman was visibly
cowed. “I... might have King of the Spanish Main on there.”
Codex looked to see if
Occult had that, but she didn't have to. The spellcaster, still
on her knees, already had the handheld computer dedicated to the
Digi-book of Reason out and was running a cross reference.
Barely a minute went
by before her eyebrows rose in surprise. “Well this is new.”
“What?” Facsimile
clamored to try and read over her shoulder.
Occult didn't answer
directly. “Green and fuzz covered, pointed ears, long noses...
check. Eats only the sweet of the land...” Her gaze strayed
to the sugar cane. “Check. Boundless tinkers and mechanist?
Can't tell from here. The power to bring reality to the unreal?
Big check.”
“Occult.”
Chaos said with some force in his voice. “What are we dealing
with?”
She used her staff to
help herself up. “From what we see here? I'd say we're dealing
with the tinker-folk. A gremlin.”
The pod closed
over Tink and left her in darkness. Beneath her, the seat's softness
yielded almost completely to her weight, leaving her with a feeling
of floating.
Of course, she realized,
the core of the immersion gaming technology was a sensory deprivation
chamber; allowing the only sensory input the user received was from
the game itself. Now that she noticed it, it made perfect sense
and was a great solution to the problem of achieving total immersion.
Before she could give
this any deeper thought, the darkness around her began to lift,
a dim light suffusing her world until she found herself standing
in the middle of a wooded glade at noon.
Standing? It certainly
felt like she was, even though she knew she was still sitting down.
A quick glance down at herself revealed that the game was projecting
her in-game self as a gender neutral, gray humanoid.
“Welcome to the
Deathgate III Full Immersion Gaming Beta Demonstration.” A
disembodied female voice said. “For this demo, you will be
given a choice of premade characters representing each class/race/gender
combination including a preview of the all-new Confessioner class.
You will also have the option to map your facial features to that
of your character. Character creation begins... now.”
“Nice
costume, buddy.”
The accompanying slap
on the back sent him stumbling through the crowded room. That was
the fifth time one of these strange creatures had done him violence
and none of them had made any move to press the attack.
Most of them acted like
they expected him to say something back. But he was too clever for
that. Responding would only open him up to more open handed pounding.
He dodged two past another
group of the creatures. They looked superficially like daoine, only
shorter, with rounder ears and on the whole, worse skin and hair.
Perhaps he'd found a new Path that had dumped him a continent away
from the sane field he'd been peacefully raiding?
Maybe this was what daoine
looked and dressed like in this strange, foreign land? The fact
that they wore metal and carried it and punctured it through their
flesh killed that idea. But what bothered him was their barb. Some
of them were dressed like other creatures, both familiar and exotic,
and still more wore images of them.
Where he passed, some
of those images started to move. He had to calm down or that would
get worse and he would be in trouble. He's never been in a place
with so much iconography.
Nostrils twitched and
he scented that wonderful thing again. No, no: he had to get to
it. Absently, he reached over and grabbed some sweet smelling sticks
from a nearby table and crammed them in his mouth.
It was some sort of sweet,
crunchy bread, formed into sticks and covered with... he rolled
the taste around in his mouth and delightful memories of a rare
treat of his childhood rushed to mind. Chocolate. Real, sweet chocolate.
“Hey!” A
female dressed in a white fur leotard and a headband topped by fuzzy
ears leapt to her feet and pointed a fur gloved finger at him. “He
didn't pay!”
Ear lying back flat,
he chewed one more time, turned, and ran. Behind him, there were
angry shouts that were answered by more angry shouts. To pick up
the pace, he got his hands in on the game, slapping the ground with
his palms as he dropped into an all out, four-limbed run.
Around him, more pictures
started to move. The furious shouts turned to ones of surprise,
then screams as a loud roar made the very air shake.
He didn't look back,
but his instincts had full control of him by now and they screamed
at him that they needed to wonderful machine that taunted and teased
his senses all day.
A hard right turn. There
was a barrier of some sort of hard, waxy stone at chest level. He
leapt it and his senses went wild.
It wasn't just scent
anymore, lights danced in his eyes and electrical shocks raced across
his flesh and crackled in his ears.
He didn't remember landing,
or failing to land well. There was rolling that he vaguely recalled,
and a dim idea that he was lying between two colossal bugs with
stingers poised high overhead to skewer him.
Then he was somewhere
else.
To
Be Continued… |