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“See?” Kura
said smugly. “This is really fun and you didn't want to do
it!”
She was poking Tammy
teasingly in the ribs while the latter was hanging over the transparent
railing of the skywalk above the zoo's African savanna exhibit,
watching the giraffes bent in seeming awkwardness to drink from
the simulated river.
Tammy answered her with
a smile and a weak attempt to bat Kura's fingers away. “Okay,
I'll admit it; it's been pretty fun. Right guys?” She called
across the way to the trio of Phineas, Steampunk and Phil.
The two boys were arguing
about whether or not it was a good idea to dis-include the savanna
predators from the facsimile grassland with Phil being firmly against
letting children see kill sites and Phineas insisting that it was
educational. Steampunk was ignoring them to silently observe a herd
of springbok.
Phil glanced up from
his futile discussion to agree with her. “Yeah. I haven't
been to the zoo in years, but I'm glad I came today.”
“That's because
It know what's fun better than anyone else.” Kura insisted,
leaving the railing and jogging further down the skywalk. “Come
on! I saw that they've got the baby rhino on display down this way!”
“Rhino?”
Phil blinked. “The clone?”
“Latif.”
Steampunk quietly disengaged herself from her viewing, “The
first black rhinoceros born in captivity in more than fifty years,
a composite clone created as part of the Windsong Foundations's
ongoing efforts. Born to a white rhinoceros at the National Zoo
in Washington, DC, this this adorable visitor is on loan along with
his mother Melate until April.”
Phineas squinted at her
for a moment. “What a minute. You...” He turned to Phil
and Tammy. “She just quoted the poster they have out front!”
“That is the information
that was requested.” Steampunk informed him.
“She's got you
there.” Phil snickered.
“What are you guys
waiting for? Come on!” Kura darted back up the track to give
them an exasperated look. The group got moving again.
“Didn't this place
have a rhino that was stolen or something a while ago?” Phil
asked, trotting along.
“I think I heard
something about that.” Tammy said a bit too quickly.
“They guys that
did it got a monkey too.” Phineas added. “An orangutan.”
“Orangutans are
not monkeys.” Steampunk stated, “They are primates of
the genus Pongo, family Hominidae.”
“Uh... okay.”
The leafy teen shrugged.
“Who would want
to steal a rhino and a mon—ape” Tammy wondered aloud.
“I'm more worried
about who could do it.” Said Phil. “A zoo isn't a bank
or something, but those are some pretty big animals. You'd have
to back a truck up to the pens or something.”
“Are you guys talking
about something boring?” They had caught up to Kura, was was
waiting impatiently at the exit back onto the brick walks of the
zoo proper. The savanna simulation was actually built in a vast,
deep pit, so the skywalk led out to the rest of the zoo's ground
level.
“You think an ape
heist is boring?” Phineas asked her. His ember-like eyes flared
with amusement.
“You guys are going
to steal an ape?” Was Kura's shocked response. “Where
would you even keep it? And it's cost like a million dollars buying
all the bananas. And I bet the need all kinds of shots my cat needed
five shots and he's never been sick except needing to be fixed.”
She would have gone on
if Tammy hadn't waded into the tide of words. “Kura, whoa.
We're not going to steal an ape. We were just talking about someone
else who did. Also a rhino!”
“Is it someone
we got to school with?”
The others, minus Steampunk
all glanced with each other. Phineas shrugged. “Nope, but
I wouldn't put it past Betty Yo want one to skin for pants or something.”
“Ew.” Phil
screwed up his face.
“Heh.” Phineas
put his arms behind his head and took a moment to soak up the sun.
“Don't be like that man, you know she'd be hot in monkey skin
pants.”
“Orangutans are
not monkeys...” Steampunk started, but Phil held up a hand
to her. “He knows, Alice, but monkey is a funnier word that
ape.”
She stared at him for
a long, uncomfortable moment, then shifted that gaze to Phineas.
“Why would you purposefully decide to use incorrect terminology?”
What little emotion there was behind that question made it clear
that it was an utterly foreign concept to her.
“Because it's funny.
He just told you.” Phineas nodded to Phil.
“It's a fact!”
Kura chirped. “Monkeys are just funny! Even the word is funny!”
Steampunk blinked at
this, taking time to pare down her response to it's most urgent
component. “Why?”
“Because.”
Kura stated without a second thought. “Just say the words;
Ape, ape, ape. Kinda funny, but not funnier then monkey.”
This time, Steampunk
didn't miss a beat; she had been formulating her next question throughout
the entire conversation. “But how do you quantify funniness?
I was to understand that it is subjective.”
Kura made a face at her.
“So what do you think is funny?”
She wasn't ready for
that question. Instead of saying anything, she cocked her head to
the side inquisitively.
“You know...”
Kura hooked a finger in either corner of her mouth and pulled while
crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue. “Fubby.”
She wrinkled her nose at her new found speech impediment. “Fubby?
Heh. Fubby! Bleh!”
While Steampunk only
seemed more confused, Phineas and Tammy roared with laughter at
Kura's antics.
Cracking a grin himself,
Phil gave Steampunk an apologetic look. “Don't worry too much
about it, Alice. It's kind of hard to explain 'funny' it's like
explaining scary or exciting; you just fell it; it makes you want
to laugh.” A frown crossed his face. “You... do know
what laughing is, right.”
Steampunk ducked her
head, drawing breath to deliver the definition.
“Uh... You don't
have to tell me.” He interrupted. “Just say yes, or
know, or you could just nod or shake your head instead.”
“Yes.” She
immediately looked uncomfortable at the truncated answer and quickly
added, “I know what laughter is.” A few more moments
of calculating and she continued. “Previous to my arrival
at The Liedecker Institute, providing relevant data at intervals
was required of me.”
“You know what
I'm wondering?” Tammy asked, inadvertently stepping on what
Steampunk was saying. She was too busy giving Phineas a disgusted
look to notice. “How can you even think of Betty as hot when
she's such a raging bitch?”
“She's right you
know.” Phil added. “The bitchiness really reduces the
hotness.”
The lights of Phineas's
eyes twinkled. “But the challenge makes up for it. You've
never heard of the thrill of the chase?”
Kura rolled her eyes,
for once deciding not to get into it again with Phineas.
Tammy's disgust didn't
change. “Yeah, but think what you're chasing. Do you really
want that as your girlfriend even if you do get her?”
“Plus, isn't she
dating Hightower?” Phil pointed out.
“All part of the
challenge.” Phineas bared his freakish teeth in a grin. “Really,
what's the point of going after a girl if it's not fun?”
“I'd rather have
a girl that I actually like.” Replied Phil. “And hopefully
one that liked me.”
“Betty doesn't
like anyone!” Said Kura, just a bit too excited about that
fact. “She doesn't even really like Hightower.”
“Whatever.”
Phineas shrugged and started walking again. “So let's get
back to Steampunk not knowing what 'funny' is.”
“I am aware of
the definition of funny in this context:” Steampunk's eyes
darted to Phil for a moment, didn't find what she was looking for,
and she continued, “'providing fun; causing amusement or laughter...”
“Okay, I get it.”
Phineas cut her off.
“You just implied
that you didn't.” It would have been a witty repost from anyone
else, but she was being quite literal.
“Why don't you
go out with her?” Kura bounced up in down on her heels.
“Say what now?”
The plant boy raised his leafy brow.
“You said you wanted
a challenge and Rubber Girl would totally would be. Plus, we don't
hate her, so you could keep hanging out with us if you start going
out with her.” The others couldn't tell if she did it on purpose
or not, but her shirt suddenly displayed a cheering smiley face
with 'YAY!' in block letters below it.
“Kura, stop calling
her Rubber Girl.” Tammy admonished her.
“But she needs
a name!” Kura whined.
“She's got one;”
Phil said, making sure to stand off to the side of the entire affair,
“Alice. Or Steampunk.”
“I meant a good
name.” Said Kura, shaking her head and wrinkling her nose
at both of the other girl's names. “And since she wears that
rubber thing all the time, it should be Rubber Girl.”
Evidentially, while she
had no comment on being proposed as an object of Phineas's affections,
Steampunk felt the need to defend her costume, or at least explain
it; “My regulator suit—”
“We know.”
Phil said, stepping in in a literal sense to put him self in her
path. She drew up short and took a few steps back, her face never
registering that she was in any way startled. When she stopped,
Phil spoke again. “Alice, seriously, you don't have to define
things or repeat stuff unless we ask. Sometimes we only act like
we don't know for...” He didn't want to repeat the 'funny'
conversation again. “...one reason or another.”
“Yeah.” Tammy
said. “Just tell us what you're thinking.”
“Well not everything
you're thinking.” Phineas laughed, “We've already got
Kura for that.”
Instead of being insulted,
Kura beamed at the attention. “That's right!”
They all waited a long
moment while Steampunk merely stared, not even her usual calculating
gaze, but the far away stare of introspection. Finally, she took
a moment to look each on of them in the eye.
“I will try.”
She said. “Laurel Brant has instructed me to learn interaction
from my classmates and if this will improve my ability to fulfill
her request, I will do so.” Another pause. She was considering
her new 'say what you're thinking' directive. “I don't know
how long it will take to learn proper interaction.”
“Heh, no such thing.”
Phineas said. “It's just talking. There's not like any rules
to that.”
“That's why you
almost failed English last year.” Kura snickered.
“What he means
is, it's not an exact science.” Phil offered. “Just
like funniness, you can't really measure it and it's different from
person to person. Just talk about what you want to talk about.”
Her glassy stare told
him that he hadn't helped.
“How about this?
Where else in the zoo do you want to see next?”
This time, she looked
about, albeit slowly. “The rhinoceros enclosure.” She
finally said. Kura made a high pitched, happy sound.
“Good.” Phil
said, “So why do you think we should go there next?”
“It was where we
were headed before this discussion started.” Steampunk reasoned.
“It doesn't make sense to deviate from our destination for
the sake of this exercise. Additionally, Kura Akagi has been most
vocal about seeing it since we arrived.”
Kura made another cheerful
sound and her shirt animated, the cheering smiley's mouth opening
and closing.
Tammy shrugged. “Good
enough for now, right, Phil?”
Phil blinked. That hadn't
been how he'd expected that to go at all. “Right?” He
turned back to Steampunk and gave her a resolute nod. “We'll
work on it.”
“Hey, maybe you'll
learn something useful in school.” Phineas said. “That'll
be a change.”
“Doesn't the school
teach the traditional curriculum of Mathematics, Language, Geopolitics
and the Sciences?” Steampunk looked mildly concerned, which,
all things considered, Phil thought probably meant she was shocked.
“It's another joke.”
Tammy patted the other girl's shoulder. “We'll get to that.”
“Just stick with
us, kid.” Phineas patted the other shoulder. “We're
your friends now.”
Unable to contain herself,
Kura launched herself bodily at Steampunk. It was a good three yards
between the two and Kura managed to glide the last five feet or
so to throw her arms around Steampunk in a bear hug.
Steampunk didn't move.
Naturally, Kura took this ass acceptance and giggled happily as
she jumped back, grabbed Steampunk's hand and set off in a full
out run toward the rhino house.
Phil and Tammy traded
glances as the most stoic person either of them had ever known struggled
to keep up with the living embodiment of a sugar high lest she be
pulled to the ground.
Tammy grinned. “This
is going to be one hell of a year.” She remarked before running
after them.
End
Meet the Class
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